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“Two cannot walk
together unless they be agreed”
-Amos 3:3
Once you have sorted
out the issue of companionship,
then you need to be
sure you are compatible.
Compatibility does
not necessarily mean that both of
you are similar and
exactly the same, it simply means
that both of you can
get along well, it means that you
are well-suited for
or attuned to each other. It doesn’t
mean that we should
be the same thing, that if I have
bow legs, she must
also be bow-legged, that is not
what compatibility
means.
Compatibility means
that we can go together; that we
are well-matched.
For instance your biro and the
biro-cover are
compatible, when you are not using it,
it covers the main
part of the biro-head, when you
want to use the ball
point, then you would cover the
tail end of the pen
with the biro cover and it would still
sit there perfectly
while you write, that is
compatibility. It
doesn’t, like I said earlier, necessarily
mean similarity, it
simply means that both of you can
fit together. You
might not be the same, for instance,
my wife likes cold
food, I like hot food, it shouldn’t
cause a problem.
There are two things
that make people quarrel in
marriage. First, it
is when they, either or both are very
selfish people and
are unwilling to adjust, because no
matter who you
marry, no matter how compatible you
are, there will
still be need for adjustment, but if both
of you are
compatible the adjustment will be very
little, it won’t be
stressful. Compatibility, like we have
established doesn’t
mean that you won’t have to
adjust in some
areas, but if both of you are not selfish
it will be easy for
you to adjust.
The second reason
why people quarrel excessively is
just total
incompatibility that is when the two cannot
even get along at
all, even concerning the smallest
things. They don’t
ever see eye to eye on any issue;
totally
incompatible. Ask yourself do we get along in
basic things? What
are our simple basic values? How
do we treat people?
How do we see life? Do we have
similar goals in
life? Genesis 2:18 says;
“And the LORD God
said, it is not good that the man
should be alone. I
will make him an help meet”
That word is not one
word it is two put together “help
meet”. What He was
saying is I will make him a helper
that is suitable and adaptable . So it is not every one
that you can get
along with. Compatibility is about
your ability to get
along not necessarily your
similarity. For
instance, if someone is quiet it doesn’t
mean he has to marry
another quiet person; no he
might need to marry
someone that can talk. They will
be more compatible
because it means one party will
do more listening
while the other will do more of the
talking. If both of
you talk a lot who will listen? If both
of you are quiet who
will talk?
It is not based on
similarity but rather on our ability to
meaningfully get
along or fit into each other’s lives.
Marry someone that
you are compatible with. It’s not
everybody you can
get along with; it is not even every
Christian that you can marry.
This is
culled from the book, ‘Who Should I
Marry?’’ by Kingsley Okonkwo.
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Okonkwo
5. The Myth Of Singleness, by Dr. Myles Munroe
6. Kingdom Keys To Successful Relationships,
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7. The 7-Star Single{1 & 2}, by Olumide
Emmanuel
8. So, You Want To Marry, by Keji Ajayi
9. Common But Costly Mistakes Singles Make, by
Keji Ajayi
10. Faith, Family And Finance, by Ibukun
Awosika
11. The Ultimate Family - Building An Effective
21st Century Family, by Praise Fowowe
12. Dealing With Financial Abuse In
Relationships, by Nimi Akinkugbe
13. Relationship Matters, by Dunamis Okunowo
14. The 12 Tests Of Love{12 TRACKS}, by Tekena
Ikoko
15. Single, Or Married - Learn To Love, by Sam
Adeyemi
16. Responsible Men, by Olakunle Soriyan
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