*PASTOR BANKIE: ANSWERS TO YOUR RELATIONSHIP & MARRIAGE
QESTIONS (3)
time? How long should
it be?
courtship. Some use the term to mean the period between the
point
a man shows interest in a woman and the point they come to
an
agreement to marry. This is actually the proper meaning in
the English
language, according to the dictionary I consulted. If this
is what we
are talking about, then it is not a good question to ask
whether one
should be in courtship for a long time. Courtship in that
sense is for
the purpose of setting the stage for engagement and so
should be
as short as is possible.
Now my experience is that when many Christians use the term
courtship, they assume the man and the woman are already in
agreement to get married one day, sooner or later, and they
are
getting to know themselves better before the date. In this
sense
courtship means the period between engagement and marriage.
The question now is whether this period should be long?
I have heard arguments on why it should be long. People
say the time is needed to get to know each other very well.
Well if
that is the case, it means the marriage proposal was
premature. By
the time you are proposing marriage to someone, or you are
accepting,
I think common sense dictates that you should know the
person
enough to be willing to marry him or her. If you are not
sure you
want to marry someone, then please don't propose marriage
or accept
it yet. Keep watching the person and relating generally in
the
meantime.
The problem is often that a young man may like someone
(he falls in love), and because he is a Christian who is
not allowed
to have a girlfriend, the only thing he can do is to
propose marriage.
A marriage proposal is supposed to be a proposal to marry,
not just
a declaration of love. Unfortunately the latter is what it
turns out to
be for most young Christians. This is why they start the
so-called
courtship that has no choice but be long. The truth is that
they were
not really planning to marry when they proposed marriage. I
was that
young at a time too and was in the university; I look back
now and
laugh. That is why more than 80% of those 'engagements' did
not
make it to marriage.
Should courtship in this sense be long?
Apart from cases in which there are special problems, it
can't
possibly be long if persons involved were actually planning
to marry
before giving or accepting the marriage proposal. It is a
question I
hear only from young people who are still in school or just
leaving.
Those who actually want to marry don't have time for such.
Let me
state it clearly for those who are 'getting engaged' early
so they can
fulfil the long length many have advocated: you don't need it. The
word of God and experience have shown us that the quality
of a
marriage is not affected in any way by the length of the
engagement.
So please don't waste the time.
Please I am not saying you should rush into marriage; I am
only saying the time of caution must be before you get into
that
engagement. Do not propose marriage to a woman, no matter
how
much you love her, unless you have a plan to marry soon.
Also please my dear woman, please do not accept a marriage
proposal from a man who has no serious plans for marriage
anytime
soon. Try and understand the difference between a love
proposal and
a marriage proposal. A lot of young Christian men only have
love
proposals which they think are marriage proposals. If it is
a love
proposal, keep it so. Love him too and keep loving him on
the
phone. Don't make any commitment to him. When he is ready
with
a marriage proposal, let him come back. Don't let any man
waste
your time.
***This
is culled from the book," SHOULD I
SAY 'YES'? ", by Pastor Bankie. DOWNLOAD FREE HERE for yourself and your
buddies……including the recommended downloads. And,feel free to share. Selah… #GoAndLearn
#qdGUYS #qdLADIES #qdDOWNLOADS
Some other books by the author include:
The
Blessing
Beyond
Gifts And Talents
Here
on Purpose
The
Law of Life
Great
Faith Can Be Yours
Choices,
the Key to Destiny
By
Faith Acquire Life
He
That Believes
Grace
to Prosper
How
to Work for God
So,
Who Will Pay for This?
Secrets
of Increase and Breakthrough
The
Righteousness of God
Prophesy!
Your
Greatness Has Been Prepared
 |
| Recommended FREE BOOK/MP3/VIDEO TO DOWNLOAD NOW FROM THE QUICK DOWNLOADS™ 101 DOWNLOAD e-MANUAL,and more... |
Recommended FREE
BOOK/MP3/VIDEO TO DOWNLOAD NOW FROM THE QUICK DOWNLOADS™ 101
DOWNLOAD e-MANUAL,and more...
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