I want to say a huge “Thank you and God bless you” to
everyone who made our Anniversary and my Birthday a special one.
Thanks for all the messages, email, sms and phone calls and prayers. May God
bless you in ways you’ve never imagined and as I always say, may my greatest
achievement be your least! I’m sure you know that I mean those words.
I was astounded to receive all the comments from readers of my “
LOVE LETTER TO TARA”! At my last
count, I had a total of 238 comments. That’s totally unprecedented for me!
I also had a lot of messages from the ladies who seemed awed by the fact that
“a Nigerian man” had a romantic gene! The guys were shocked by my “lyrics” to
Tara, (guys feel free to use any of those lines, lol!)
Quite a number of the ladies wanted to know how to find the right man for them
as well, so this note is especially dedicated to every woman believing God for
the right man.
Don’t worry guys, I’ll have one for you.
Ladies, why do you want to get married?
Is it because you’ve fantasized about the wedding day, or is it because your
friends are getting married, or could it be pressure from family and friends
who constantly remind you of the ticking of your biological clock? I assure you
that those are all the wrong reasons to get married.
To many women fantasize about the
WEDDING
DAY, and don't prepare for the
MARRIAGE.
The truth is, the marriage begins when the wedding ends.
So why then should you get married?
Forget the fairy tales, marriage is a covenant of two imperfect people coming
together, committing their lives together forever, to create a union under God.
So what are the steps to getting the man of your dreams?
Step 1:
Be the right woman:
What kind of wife would your dream husband be looking for?
Single ladies; please remember that as a woman thinks in her heart, so she
“is”; not will be. Simply put, your thoughts, values, habits and words can tell
any man, the kind of wife that you “are”, even though you are not married yet.
Step 2:
Become a wife, while you’re waiting for a husband
Ladies, please recognize that “
guys DATE
chics and then go on to MARRY wives”. If the truth be told, there are too
many Christian chics and too few Christian wives (or “wife material”) in Church
today. Ask yourself, “am I a chic or a wife?”
Who must I BE to attract who I WANT. Sweetheart, the man of your
dreams isn’t hanging around in a bar or at a club, so what are you doing there?
Step 3:
Who must be to attract who I want?
Write down the list of qualities that you want your husband to have. Now look
at that list carefully. What have you written? God fearing, Intelligent, Good
Communicator, Gainfully employed, Clean, Fun, has a car, apartment, has money
etc.
Now, ask yourself, does your list consist more of “what he has” or “who he is”?
If it’s driven by what he has, then, you may be driven by the external props
and anybody can fake that. “Sharp” guys can borrow their friends’ cars,
apartment, money etc, but the intangibles of “who he is” cannot be faked.
Character, truth, integrity, passion can’t be faked.
If you want a God fearing man, are you God fearing? If you want an intelligent
man, can you hold up your end of a conversation? You want a man who's gainfully
employed, do you have a job?
When I began dating Tara, I was quick to inform her that I wasn’t looking for a
girlfriend, but a wife. She thought that was the most unromantic thing I’d ever
said, but she appreciated the fact that I was honest with her from the get go.
Ladies, marry a man for “
who he is”…even
if the world hasn’t seen it yet; rather than for “
what he has”, because what he has can be taken away from him, but
who he is will be all that’s left.
When Tara and I began dating, I was living in a small “one room, room” where I
had to share a communal toilet and bathroom with several families (one of my
cooks used to be my neighbor). All my property (TV, electronics fridge, and
other appliances) had been sown by instruction to build a campus ministry in
OAU, Ife, called Eden. All I had left was a cane dustbin, a mattress and a
carpet with a hole in the middle (which the bed thankfully covered).
But there was much more to me than what I didn’t seem to have. I was always
talking about my vision, what our life would be, where I was taking her to and
I was also
TAKING ACTION STEPS to
get us there. Ladies, beware of the man who only talks the talk, but doesn’t
WALK THE WALK! He must have
corresponding action with his words.
Sometime ago, about 3 years ago, Tara and I were invited to a TV interview, and
the host asked me what was imperative for women to look for in a man. I
remember saying. “
Don’t marry
a man for his “television”, marry a man who has vision and one day; his vision
will put you on television”!
